Lessons From The Princesses

When I was young we didn't see many princesses except in Fairy Tales - Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson or Andrew Lang. They were endlessly fascinating and all of them were so different. There was never a problem not resolved for the better in the stories though the solution was often difficult. They were perfect works of fiction that had great plots and good endings.

The most inspiring picture from a fairy tale I saw recently was the Messy Princess. She looks so regal and yet - something is wrong here. I'll be looking for this story. Is she enchanted?  Why are her maids and ladies-in-waiting doing nothing?

 

by Edmund Dulac

(By the way, in my search for the 'real' messy princess story I found a free online story called The Messy Princess which would be perfect if you had a small messy princess at your house)

 

Reading all of these scary, sometimes horrifying stories was not the best way to prepare for real life where situations don't usually have fairy tale endings.

 

But here are some lessons you can learn from the princesses of the past. Remember the Princess and the Pea? 

by Edmund Dulac

The Prince was looking for a 'real princess' and this is the test his mother devised. She put a pea in a bed under 20 mattresses and 20 feather beds and after a night sleeping in this bed the princess, as she claimed to be, said that she was black and blue and had not slept a wink. The conclusion was "Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin" and she married the prince and lived happily ever after.  

Personally I think she had fibromyalgia. Maybe there's hope for those with fibro after all. It's really a test to see if they are real princesses.  The lesson is that comfort can help you to feel better. Get the peas out from under your cushions and mattresses.

Then Cinderella came to mind. She has a lesson that is a little more practical. (I doubt you are plagued by peas.)

With good fortune and luck Cinderella found a most excellent mentor (her fairy godmother) and followed her advice almost perfectly. Having a mentor is invaluable in chronic illness. Useful advice as early as possible helps you have more success in aspects of your life dealing with illness.

Rumplestiltskin provides a good lesson in learning the right language to use defeat adversity. If you think of the evil little man as the personification of your illness, then knowing his name is the way to win, as the Queen learns when he tries to claim her baby. 

Christina Rossetti

What I mean by that is that if you learn the terminology and medical language of your chronic illness you will find that things move faster for you. You can cover a lot more ground in an appointment if the doctor does not have to spend time explaining what you can readily find out for yourself through research, reading online doctor sites and joining patient communities. This is effective for family caregivers also.

If you know of more lessons from the princesses please let me know. If there's one thing I enjoy it's fairy tales, but linking them to chronic illness takes a lot of thought.

Possibly Rapunzel could be seen as a story of reaching out for help but there are many versions of her story and her intentions are not clear. She obviously is unable to break out of her "jail" on her own. Asking for help often makes it easier for friends who wish they could do something but don't want to intrude.

by Heinrich Lefler

I enjoy reading advice that people with problems provide. Every blog can be seen as a potential guide. Usually the right answer is almost obvious. I think Ann Landers said this: Think about the possibilities open to you. Usually the one that is hardest is the right one. That advice has held true for me in many situations.

 

Good luck with the princesses.

Fairy Tales of RA

Living with chronic illness has a lot of challenges, so in response to RA Warrior's challenge, here are some of the many things that bring me comfort and distraction in my life with rheumatoid arthritis. 

The first one would be getting lost in a good book.  Now when I do get sick it hits me harder and there is nothing more helpful than a really gripping story.  Thinking back to childhood this is the shelf in the library that I gravitated toward.  Over a few years I read nothing but collections of stories from around the world.

                                                       Fairy Tales collected by Andrew Lang

Fairy tales have coloured my view of what is the ideal comfort, and who can forget The Princess and the Pea.  Though she slept on a huge pile a feather beds she could still feel that irritating pea under her mattress.  I got a feather bed a few years ago and I don't believe she could have felt the pea. A feather bed is very cosy and comfortable, as we know from both fairy tales and historical fiction. You can put it on top of your regular mattress and test the pean theory with a piece of Lego.  It gets a big AAAH from me.

                                                                         A feather bed

The Princess and the Pea 

When I think of Little Red Riding Hood the first thing I see in my mind is the wolf, snuggled into Granny's bed with her sleeping cap on.  And I am sure the wolf is snuggled under a duvet.

There is nothing warmer and lighter to sleep under than a goose down duvet.  I have taken some advice I read once to use the duvet alone without a top sheet.  That makes it easy to shift at night and the bed is made with a shake in the morning. Sleep is vitally important in chronic disease.  That's why I am so fixated on maximum comfort and minimum irritation. 

Wolf in bed under duvet 

This fits into Little Red Riding Hood again and here we have the loyal pet dressed as the wolf and pretending to be Granny. "Oh what big teeth you have".  A pet is the source of so much comfort and fun for people.  Time and again I read of the devotion and strong connection between pets and those who live with them. It's healthy, often lifesaving, and a lot of fun to live with a "furry person".

Loyal Pet 

Cashmere shawl (worn by the good witches). I can't find a fairy tale to match this choice but I am convinced that good witches are not only nice but fluffy.  Nothing can match the luxurious feel of a soft shawl or wrap.

Fluffy Shawl

Hansel & Gretel

And now my final (and most scary comfort). What symbolizes comfort food better than the witch's house in Hansel and Gretel that is made of candy and sweets.  So tempting and I don't even have the excuse of being an undernourished small child. 

So much sugar to tempt Hansel and Gretel 

Fairy tales always have a dark and frightening side and so does the reason I am so attached to my comforts.  Chronic illness is a real burden, and unfortunately you never get to retire or toss it aside.  Giving treats to the body and soul makes it easier to cope and gives us something to look forward to.  Small pleasures are one of the joys of life.

This post is part of a blog carnival:

Ideas for Relieving Rheumatoid Arthritis Pain http://rawarrior.com/ideas-for-relieving-rheumatoid-arthritis-pain/

A very good idea from Kelly for an (almost) year end round up, so we can all go into the New Year happier and healthier.